New Year's Resolutions, Crook Style - Part 8: Alexis Horn

Continuing the resolution interview series, we sat down with clutch defender, Alexis Horn. For those unaware, Alexis is currently preparing for a 4-month international development trip to Nicaragua.

El Campo: Good afternoon, Alexis. How are you?
Alexis Horn: I’m good!
EC: Excited for Central America?
AH: Oh yes. I can’t wait!! I’ve been counting down for a year now!
EC: uh, didn’t you just find out you were going like 2 months ago?
AH: Yes.
EC: Right. So.. (pause) Ok. So, anyway, I know you have a big year ahead of you, but I was wondering how the Crooks might fit into it? Will you resume playing after you get back? Do you think the team will hold your spot?
AH: What do you mean? (completely confused) I don’t plan on quitting the team while I’m gone…
EC: Well obviously you won’t be able to play while you’re all the way in Nicaragua-
AH: Sure I can. Haven’t you heard of Tele-Footie?
EC: Tele-Footie? Sorry, no… definitely never heard of that… what is it?
AH: Really?? Wow, I can’t believe it! You’ve seriously never heard of it? I mean, like, everyone knows about Tele-Footie… They talk about it on E News all the time!
EC: Nope, sorry..
AH: Wow, ok. Well, (getting really excited) it’s this really cool teleportation program that was designed in I think England specifically for soccer players so that they can play matches all over the world. So you could be in DC playing a game right now and then just teleport over to I don’t know, China this afternoon and play in a match there! It’s wicked cool.
EC: ….what… wait, how… is it… what??
AH: You’ve seriously never heard of this?? It’s so easy! Like all the big players use it all the time, and they’ve finally made it available for regular people to use it. But only if they use it for travel between soccer games. Otherwise it wouldn’t work.
EC: (under my breath) ok, I’ll go with it… I don’t even know where to start.. (aloud) So, this is what you plan on doing while you’re in Nicaragua? They have the facilities to do this?
AH: Oh yes! All you need is a toaster. It’s really easy. Just hold the lever, say the country code out loud, and you’re there! I figure this way, I just have to clear the Crooks schedule with my supervisor down there and I’ll be here for every game!
EC: I just.. wow, I just had no idea this technology even existed. But I mean, if you say so…
AH: Yea, I’m not really sure about the details of it… Logan was the one that originally told me about it. He’s even used it before and said it’s super easy to use.
EC: You say Logan told you about it?
AH: Yep.
EC: ..interesting…. interesting…. Well. Thank you for coming in today Alexis. It sounds like maybe we’ll see you after all this upcoming season. Best of luck to you in your ‘travels.’
AH: Thanks!
EC: Oh by the way, have you made any New Year’s resolutions for 2009?
AH: Oh yes! I always make resolutions. This year I’m going to be a roadie for Gwen Stefani!!!
EC: haha, actually I meant for the tea-- nevermind. Yea, have fun with that! Thanks again!


Stay tuned for some words from defender Amber Lovell!