Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Game 1 wrap: There’s nowhere to go but up!

First, the bad news. Under a blistering September sun, the team-formerly-clad-in-pink suffered its first loss of the season, falling 3-nil to the aptly named Wanks. To make matters worse, they did so in a most frightful shade of traffic-cone orange (District Sports, it seems, is not without a sense of humor when it comes to the Crooks jerseys). The Wanks, all 496 of them, were supercharged on various yet-to-be-released flavors of Vitamin Water and simply outpaced the Crooks 10 times over.

On the plus side however, loyal El Campo readers will be happy to hear that the richest (or certainly the most successful) tradition of the K Street Crooks has fruitfully carried over to the reworked squad: the gameday hangover. Aided in part by former Crooks Amy and Justin tying the knot the night before, the majority of the Crooks proudly stumbled onto the pitch Sunday, eager to pad their 2009 stats. The newbie Crooks were more reluctant to speak up during the pre-game polling session, but the rum-colored sweat seeping out of their pores at halftime gave them up pretty quickly.

This weekend’s matchup promises to be another thriller as our Orange-clad warriors take on ‘Sunday is the new Tuesday’ at 3pm.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Transfer deadline Looming; Big changes in store for Crooks

As the Fall 2009 season opener draws near, loyal El Campo readers are no doubt at the edge of their seats. Sources in and around the Crooks all speak of a massive overhaul of the heralded team, stemming from a complete breakdown of the of the mighty triumvirate. Several reports claim that captains Hoefs and Snyder have skipped town, fleeing almost immediately after a huge fight with fellow captainess Breznay. Facts are scarce, but one source close to the team had this to share: “Ben and Tim were downright scared of her. I saw tears.”
Rest assured dear readers, El Campo will continue to investigate and keep you up-to-date as information surfaces. In the meantime, go out and buy your official Pink gear and get ready for the September 20th debut of your K Street Crooks!