Wednesday, May 27, 2009


ARLINGTON: District Sports released an updated schedule to make up the two matches that were cancelled. The Crooks will play on the 21st and the 28th of June versus Unathletico and arch-rivals the Shrimp Diablos respectively. "We're looking forward to putting some shrimp on the barbie," former wunderkind Mustafa Dimbiloglu said in a press conference Tuesday afternoon. Above the chorus of loud groans and boos which resulted, Dimbiloglu screamed "Screw you. That joke kills in East Lansing." "Then why don't you go back there," a reporter (who looked a lot like Crook defender Amy Aubin) retorted as Dimbiloglu left the podium in tears.


Monday, May 11, 2009

Crooks "steal" another win

"The Crooks play best with 75degree weather and partly cloudy, with a 10% chance of rain" said #1 fan and long-time Crook video master Ms. Slingshot Seals. The Crooks knocked in two early goals and sailed through the rest of the game, finishing after 50 minutes with a 3-0 win. The Kung Fu Pandas were battle-hardened pros who were using every strategy to find a hole in the Crooks Defense. However, the Crook D was almost impregnable, even using offsides traps several times to discourage the Panda Strikers. Even when a hole was found, keeper Kevin flew left and right through the air to keep the ball out of the net. Several of his saves can be seen on SportsCenter's Top 10 this morning. With the Crook's confidence increasing steadily over the season, we can expect more greatness from the Defending Champions.
Goal 2' : Ben Assist: N/A
Goal 5' : Tony (Goalazzo) Assist: Ben
Bonecrusher 7' : Amber
Goal 45': Ben Assist: Logan

Missing info:
Hangover Caps:
Moose award:

In other Crooks News: International Sensation and former Crook Striker Timo Hoefs (now with Miami Freakthunderstormsat2pmeveryday FC) will be on loan for a one-game stint on May 31 vs.Deceptions. Crook Managers expect him to score at least 17 goals to make this one-game loan payment worthwhile.