New Year's Resolutions, Crook Style - Part 5: Stefan Georg

Continuing our New Year’s resolution series, today we offer up tabloid goldmine, striker Stefan Georg – currently on loan to Wellington Phoenix in New Zealand.

El Campo: Good afternoon Stefan! Or should I say ‘G’day’?
Stefan Georg: G’****in’day!!! Woooo!!!!!!! Par-tayyyy!!!!!
EC: Wow! I was going to ask how New Zealand is, but I think I can guess!
SG: Yea, it’s a ****in’ blast man, totally wild. I’m lovin’ every nano-second of it.
EC: That’s great. Now, before I get into the intended interview questions, there are some things I think we need to get out of the way first.. I’m sure you’re well aware of the media circus surrounding your many drunk and baked escapades down under and the myriad of, well, shall we say ‘distasteful’ photos that have surfaced?
SG: Yea, they’re pretty sweet, aren’t they? Good times, good times. Though you should see the ones that didn’t make it into the papers… wooo-eeeee!
EC: Stefan, are you saying you’re proud of these photos?
SG: Hell yea! What’s the big deal? Did you see the knockers on that chick? Man, I’d never seen anything like that in the US…
EC: The big deal is that you’re not seeing the bigger picture here. (becoming increasingly irate) There are children back home in DC that look up to you- they have your poster on their bedroom walls, they wear your trademark sweatband 24/7, they’ve even started an after-school clinic practicing your infamous ‘ass-pass’ for crying out loud!! What about them?! Tell me Stefan, what about the children?!?!
SG: Wow, well, gee, I had no idea… I guess I never thought of that…
EC: (furious) Well you should!! The next time you go gallivanting through a pub or lighting up at a rave, you’d better think twice! Think about your fans and what kind of impression you’re making on them. You are a role model! Behave like one!!
SG: I’m… I’m so sorry… I just had no idea… I… (putting his head down in his hands, begins to sob)

(a long pause, muffled sobs)

EC: So this brings me to what I came here to ask you. What are your New Year’s resolutions this year for the team – or (ahem) otherwise?
SG: (sniffling) well… I… I’ve got to change… I just don’t know how yet…
EC: It’s about making choices Stefan… making the right choices, all the time. You can do it.
SG: (looking up, eyes puffy and red) Thank you, El Campo.
EC: You’re welcome. And thank you for coming in today, it’s always a pleasure to talk to you.

(SG and EC exchange wayward glances)

(brief pause)

SG: So…. are we gonna get naked now?

(sound of rustling papers, chairs falling over, recorder clicks off)


Check back soon for a glimpse into life on the road for Amy Aubin.