Crooks captain drops team, will play alone.

(WASHINGTON, DC) K Street Crooks captain Mustafa Dimbiloglu announced Wednesday via the District Sports website that he will be the illustrious team’s only member during the summer 2007 campaign. In a tersely worded player list (available here), Dimbiloglu excluded every player save himself from the roster.

Speculation had been rife in DC soccer circles that the Crooks would look to make changes after a 0-7-1 spring season, but few were ready for such dramatic action. The team had been reported to be on the verge of several new player signings, but in the end, opted to instead subtract nearly all the old ones. Dimbiloglu’s exact motives for the purge are unclear but it is widely speculated that it is somehow related to emerging philosophical differences him and top Crooks team members, possibly over the relative merits of backgammon.

In informal statements, the captain characterized the shift as a tactical one. He stated that he didn’t believe his talents were able to be fully utilized in a traditional, seven player lineup. “I’m really fast,” he said, “and that helps me when I play on the flanks. But I’m also great on the ball and gifted with superb vision, which makes me a natural central mid. My first touch and eye for goal are unparalleled, so I don’t see any better candidates for striker and don’t even get me started about my defensive tenacity. I just felt the other 6 players on the pitch would make me – and the team – worse.”

When contacted by El Campo de Petworth about the Dimbiloglu’s plan to play alone, former defender Justin Sargent responded, “I'm confused? Are we talking about his lady skills or what?”

Former netminder Tim Snyder took the news harder, declaring that the move is “indicative of [Dimiloglu's] entire philosophy regarding the team. Despite his abilities, it's a decidedly "me-first" attitude the severity of which I haven't seen since the hey-days of fascism." He also termed it “laugh-y.”

When told of his teammates response, the newly minted attacking-midleft flank back appeared incredulous. “What’s wrong with them?” he asked rhetorically, “It’s not like I didn’t arrange for them to buy awesome t-shirts that they can wear when they come to cheer me on.”

Despite his obvious confidence, only time will tell if Dimbiloglu’s gambit will pay off against deeper teams such as perennial powerhouses It Burns When IP (roster) and Fresh Tread (roster).