How They Spent Their Summer Vacation

(WASHINGTON, D.C.) Numerous curious readers have written in to El Campo de Petworth recently, asking how their on pitch heroes passed the three weekends of inaction that they themselves found so painful. Given this blog’s steadfast commitment to giving its readers what they need, ECdP decided to find out what went on in the lives of these crack athletes. After a series of extensive interviews, we found that they occupied their time as follows:

Mustafa – Strutted around in Turkish nationalist spandex.

Tim Snyder – Blocked traffic, checkout lanes, crosswalks, hallways, etc.

Alexis - Checked 16 Hanson concert venues, 2 Hanson brothers off of life list.

Logan – Created numerous spreadsheets of impressive length.

Jon – Made mixed martial arts debut. Outpointed by Vitor "Shaolin" Ribeiro.

Ben – Attended Baywatch Fantasy Life Guarding Camp in puzzlingly-landlocked Berlin, Germany. Traded “e” in last name for an apostrophe.

Mark – 26 day bender. Shower.

Dorothy – Thought up excuses for not coming to games during September.

Justin – Cooked, cleaned, waxed floors, gave massages, dusted, washed clothes, moved furniture, talked to friendly mice.

Amy – Fanned herself, asked Justin to find her missing shoe.

Joanne – Sex.

Mike – Unknown, but done with 110% hustle.

Eric – Play with the ol’bocce balls a little bit.

Tim Malacarne – Practiced. Made fun of Mustafa. Practiced making fun of Mustafa.

Captain Oh Captain?

(Capitol Hill - DC) Controversial Turkish international and Crooks captain Mustafa Dimbiloglu was recently spotted partying after the team's crushing defeat in the league finale.

An anonymous source tipped El Campo de Petworth that Dimbiloglu, sometimes known as the Paris Hilton of Petsworth, spent much of the evening drinking and gyrating to pop beats at Grand Central, a Washington DC nightspot. The captain has long been criticized in the media for his party habits but one has to wonder if this time the fans and the locker room may decide he’s gone too far and demand a change.

One Crook, who asked to remain nameless do to concerns about his future place in the starting line up, stated that it was not necessarily the drinking that bothered him - after all drowning sorrows in alcohol is a time honored and manly sporting tradition - but the carefee attitude Dimbiloglu seemed to take. "I mean come on," the player said, "the guy just captained a team that got their ass kicked worse than normal. And for our team, normal is already pretty bad."

A second team member was less harsh in his criticisms, but remarked that if "Mustafa is going to sell out our team for pair of tits and two legs, he could at least find some that weren't twice the size of his.....the legs I mean, not the tits, those are ok, being being bigger than his I mean, I guess, you know what I'm trying to say." Later in the interview the same player made a possibly sincere offer to buy his leader a "No Fat Chicks" t-shirt that he'd once seen on the internet.

Asked about the incident Mustafa showed little remorse, simply stating “I love to dance......”

Trouble on K Street perhaps?

Capello linked to Crooks move

(MADRID, Spain) - Despite leading the club to its first major title in four years, Real Madrid manager Fabio Capello acknowledged that it was the prerogative of club president to replace him if he so desired. Talking to Spanish sports daily AS, Capello stated that he would have no choice leave the club if the president and board chose to go with Getafe manager Bernd Schuster, but he would expect to be paid every last cent owed him on the remaining two years of his contract.

Seizing on the degree of financial freedom such a buyout would afford, world soccer fans began speculating on possible destinations for the former Juventus, AC Milan and AC Roma head man. A popular choice has been the K Street Crooks. The Crooks, a Washington DC based club currently playing in District Sports' Petworth 7v7 Coed League, would appear an attractive option for the Italian for several reasons. First, their preferred 4-2 alignment fits well with Capello's fundamentally defensive footballing philosophy. With physical defenders Justin Sargent and Amy Aubin at his disposal, Capello could continue to play the "catenaccio" style of football that has served him so well in the top leagues of Europe.

Real Madrid is expected to announce their choice of trainer for the 2007/08 season in the coming week. When they do, Capello's future will become much clearer.