The team announced this morning that the final end of season party will be a holiday extravaganza held this Friday night at 8:30. Rumors of an appearance by M. Ekrem Dimbiloglu, disgraced captain and America's sweetheart, have been confirmed.
Party organizers are warning participants to leave their green-frosted cupcakes at home as security will be tight. "Essentially, we have to avoid any and all potentially explosive situations and make sure this party goes off smoothly and funly." Security officials also told El Campo that other items including Bud Light (with Lime) and firecrackers will not be allowed inside. "Things got out of hand last time with [forward Logan] Kendall introducing a new way to shotgun beer using small explosives. We lost five good teeth that day, its still a tragedy for us here. We mish thosh teef efry daysh."
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this just in: disgraced captain M. Dimbiloglu might not be able to make the "End of Season" party. Due to inclement weather throughout the midwest, he is pretty much stuck in a snow storm...more info to follow
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