Of Games, Pants and Dogs: Losses Mount for Crooks

On Saturday, the K Street Crooks dropped their 4th straight test versus the Dickstein Penguins by a score which frankly was forgettable. The team played backwards this week, starting strong - even leading at one point - before sacrificing themselves to the indoor gods.

Goalkeeper Tim Snyder left the pitch immediately after the loss, not even staying to shake the hands of those that graciously decked him with 20 seconds left in a 8 goal game. Snyder, who aside from minding nets also looks after Captain Dimbiloglu's belongings, absconded with Mustafa's brand new pants. Ironically, these pants were purchased to take the place of Snyder's pants which Ekrem had continuously borrowed.

Snyder was briefly available for comment in the parking lot of the facility after the game. "That was really frustrating today. We came with clear eyes and full hearts and we left with nothing," he moped while taking of his shin pads. "Well," he perked up slightly, " they left with nothing, I scored me some pants." When informed by El Campo the pants were Dimbiloglu's, Snyder spat out an expletive, seething "that was all I had today. That was it, pants, and you took that away. What's next? Are you going to tell me that my dog died too??" Snyder got up, sobbing and swearing his way over to Dimbiloglu's car, where he placed the pants on the windshield, flipped off the various bystanders and walked to his waiting ride.

In a sad turn Dimbiloglu, a Turkish national not known for his driving skills, left the pants unnoticed on the windshield the entire ride back into the District. Passenger/Forward Tim Malacarne recounted, "I thought I was going to die. [Dimbiloglu] just kept asking 'is it dark in here? Why's it so dark?'I screamed 'it's the effing pants' at the top of my lungs, but to no avail. The Killers were just blasting too loud." Dimbiloglu, his vision obscured by his new Adidas Revolution 3 Pants, struck Snyder's dog Favre at the corner of N Courthouse and 13th in Arlington, VA. Favre died at the scene.

A spokesperson for Snyder said it's unclear if he will be able to play next week. "He's absolutely crushed," said Alexis Horn on Sunday, "he's been sitting on the bed all day watching Mythbusters."