Joanne is 116.4 times stronger than fellow Crook

(Glover Park - DC) Three veteran players of the Crooks defensive line partied the 4-0 lose against It Burns When IP at the popular club Dr. Dreamo's in Arlington, VA. Captain Dimbiloglu, known for his late night outings in the District, especially in the eclectic neighborhood of Adams Morgan, ventured to the Commonwealth for entertainment. Joining him was Joanne Breznay, former (wo)man of the match, Eric Cederbaum, substitute goalie and superb defender, and Matthew Schultz an old associate of Dimbiloglu from his days in South Florida.

Drinking and billiards were on tap for the evening as well as jamming to a live band, which Dimbiloglu quickly danced in rhythm with. After many rounds of beer and billiards Matt challenged Mustafa to the Boxing Machine installed at Dreamos. Matt said he would pay $10 if Mustafa could reach a score of 600. Joanne followed suit and offered to donate the $1.00 needed to activate the machine. After ten minutes of watching other young drunk men score between 600 - 750 Mustafa agreed. With the pressure on and Cederbaum, Breznay, and Schultz watching, camera phones in hand, Mustafa readied himself humming the song "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor. Mustafa cocked his fist back and hit the bag at full power sending the machine into a frenzy with a top score of 648. The score sent shock waves through Dr. Dreamos especially hitting hard the wallet of Matt Schultz.


Testosterone had now reached palpable levels. Matt challenged Mustafa to a higher score and after hitting the bag at full power only reached a score of 589 leaving Mustafa’s tally untouched. Naturally it was now Cederbaum’s turn to step up and show his manly-strength, especially in the presence of Ms. Breznay. Cederbaum swung at the bag and was awarded a "5", yes you read right, F. I. V. E., activating the flashing "IMPOTENT" light on the machine. The incredibly low score of the former Bocce Ball Champion stunned the Crooks that were present. Joanne’s initial reaction was, "Wow I knew Eric wasn't that strong but a five, come on, my 4 year old niece Madison could at least get a ten." Joanne decided she too would take a go at it seeing that she couldn't do much worse than the Bocce Champ. After getting worked up Joanne hit the bag with gusto sending the meter to 582. Placing her in very close company to Matt but well above that of Cederbaum. After doing a bit of calculating on a ten key, it was determined that indeed Joanne is 116.4 times stronger than fellow Crook Eric Cederbaum.

Though fun was had by all those gathered the only true winner of the night was Dr. Dreamos which made $20.00 from the drunken festivities.

P.S. Eric was later able to redeem himself with a top score of 591.