Crooks Commit Caper

(WASHINGTON, DC) An ad hoc K Street Crooks strategy session ended on a positive note Tuesday, as the Crooks committee was able to avoid paying half of their bill. The meeting, held at Sam and Harry’s Steakhouse in downtown Washington, had previously led to few tactical breakthroughs likely to pay dividends for the team's upcoming clash with Arko +6.

“I don’t know what happened,” Crooks member Tim Malacarne was quoted as saying. “There I was thinking I was about to pay enough to register for another soccer season then the bill showed up and was for an amount we could have spent at TGI Fridays.”

Subsequent examinations original documents revealed that while they had been charged for their meal upgrades, the team members and mascot consultant and WAG-extraordinaire Charlotte Gordon were not actually charged for their meals. Thus, ignoring wine, the group paid approximately 100 dollars for three 16 oz. ribeye steaks, two filet mignons, five salads, potatoes au gratin, asparagus, and five desserts.

“I’d been hearing some people had been questioning our team name credentials,” said Crooks captain Mustafa Dimbiloglu. “‘Yeah, you work on K Street, sure, but crooks?’ they’d say, ‘you guys play at a field where there are drug busts and you think you hard’. Well, I guess we showed them.”

Reports from those present at the restaurant indicate that Dimbiloglu did everything suspicious possible so that the restaurant might discover their mistake, including, but not limited to: suddenly shifting all conversations into whispers when the waiter approached, fidgeting wildly, and thanking the server for “doing that.”