Tuesday, June 26, 2007

K Street Crooks Celebrate Spring Season, Introduce New Player



(WASHINGTON, DC) - The K Street Crooks celebrated the conclusion of District Sports' Petworth 7v7 Spring Soccer League Sunday with a barbecue at the home of team captain Mustafa Dimbiloglu. While devouring hamburgers, hot dogs, and elusively named chicken skewers, the Crooks relived a season that saw them go 0-7-1.* Popular topics of conversation included how the team was able to give up so many last minute goals and how grateful everyone was for the existence of FC Meridian with occasional references were made to the "Small Penis League" in remembrance of former goalie MarkodLoucas.

Not content to toast the past, the Crooks also looked to the future with the introduction of Eric Cederbaum. Team officials hope that the former bocce champion's winning mentality will help inspire a locker room too often marked by complacency during the previous season. When asked where he thought me might fit into the team, Cederbaum replied "Probably defense," immediately showing a keen grasp of the teams favoured 5-1 formation.

Surprising some observers, no team member left the gathering in a state likely to cause following morning headaches or nausea. An anonymous source was quoted as saying that maybe Dimbiloglu should host such a get together on nights prior to games.


*Team member Dorothy Nederman actually reminisced about a season in which the team went 1-7-0 but was confused.

5 comments:

Dorothy said...

It's true. I whole-heartedly thought we had won that day. And it took me a good 24 hrs before I learned why everyone else wasn't as excited as I was......oh well! Just proves my optimism! We'll have a bunch of wins this season! :)

Mark L. said...

Small Penis League?

Prepare for an epic slide tackle.

Wemby said...

For the record: Mark had a comical quote at the end of the first game involving the phrase "Small Penis League." The team did not just sit around at the bbq thinking of ways to remember him and having small penises come to mind.

Anonymous said...

Having two marks is unacceptable.

Anonymous said...

I would just like to add that those "elusively named chicken skewers" are called Spiedies. Though, i guess the ambiguous naming is due to their sub-par preparation over an electric grill. If anyone comes to a DC United tailgate, you can experience the true spiedie, in all its (intended) char-grilled splendor