Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Scandal at District Sports

On Sunday May 18, the Crooks of K Street steamrolled the Blue Jay opposition in Washington, DC. Through a pot-holed pitch, hurricane-like weather, and half the team coming down with Pneumonia, the relentless Crooks attacked with Chuck Norris-like accuracy to take a 5-0 win. Two goals scored by Tim M, one by John Carpenter, one by Logan, and one by the youngest Hoefs brother. Anybody with a brain larger than a pomegranate apple can add up those goals, with the help of Excel, and come to 5. That's five goals: Fuenf, Cinq, cinqo.

Upon realization of their stunning victory, District Sports (the international governing board of DC soccer) awarded the Blue Jays with one goal. To which the goalie (Tony Pappas' friend from work who played goalie before and this author met him again at the airport one day after the game at the security line but forgot his name) replied: "I touched the ball twice, on passes that happened to come in my direction, unless I blacked out for a short period of time, the round thing did not enter the rectangle."

This drastically alters the league standings as well. Eventhough the Crooks would remain at the top of the table, the Goal Differential would increase by 2 to (goals for: 14, goals against 2). This could mean the difference between the Crooks playing in next year's Champions League or in the UEFA Cup, and we all know the UEFA Cup means nothing.

Some sort of scandelous act must be occurring at District Sports. A nameless Crooks player was quoted saying, "it's our sister team (FC K Street) trying to deny us of precious points in an attempt to win the Championship." Is this true or just a rumor? Time will tell.

Crooks Wunderkind Ben told the press earlier today, "a full investigation is in the works ... we shall leave no paper unturned, no person unquestioned. We shall prevail, we are ... the K Street Crooks."

1 comment:

snydertm said...

Ben:
You really need to find a way to incorporate the UEFA "THE CHAAAMPIOOOONS" choral sound at the end of the blog post there. That would have really knocked it home.