Thursday, April 10, 2008

Blood Feuds Scheduled

Potomac to run red three times this season

The 2008 Capital Sports Capitol Hill Sunday Soccer Schedule was released this week and it reads like the aftermath of a failed relationship with a coworker whom you have to face on a regular basis. The Heroes of the Tenth Block face "those deemed unworthy" three times this season, in what will promise to be contentious match-ups and the highlights of this year's season. 

The Crooks face Katie Horgan's Team this weekend in a pre-season exhibition game which defender and team captain Mustafa Dimbiloglu called an "intelligence gathering and target selection" opportunity. "Katie and the others have done a good job hiding their assets from us. On Sunday, we'll be able to find out who [fellow defender Justin] Sargent needs to pull aboard the Pain Train and who I need to flail my legs at in a fury of kicks and trips." The Pink Plan is to then clear the better players out either late in the scrimmage or early in the first test to ensure victory. 

Casualty estimates are in the fives and forward Tim Malacarne said "by the third game, we expect they'll have no one left but [former Crook defender Eric] Cederbaum and some National Guardsmen they've stop-lossed." The Pink People have no qualms about the lengths they will go to for a victory. "A lot of people tell me this is just rec league soccer, sometimes even my own teammates," said Captain Dimbiloglu, "but for me, this is life and death." Muffled cries from what sounded to this reporter like Dimbiloglu's brother/roommate emerging from a closet "don't lose.... he beats me when you lose..." were quickly cut off by the Captain's screams. "You better shut up, there's nowhere in this 400 square foot hellhole to hide!" 

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